so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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