if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
