but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
