Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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