when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
