I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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