Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
