So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
