Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
