I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
