Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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