ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
