would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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