Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just pee around me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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