Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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