Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
