Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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