Come see our sink grown plant.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
