My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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