I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
