I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
