yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
