So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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