I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
