What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
