Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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