Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
