how can u be prego again
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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