I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
