love makes seman taste better
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
