Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
