I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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