the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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