Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
