i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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