At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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