He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
