jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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