I am puke
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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