You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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