i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
