it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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