I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
