we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
