I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
