you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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