and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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