Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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