before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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