life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
